Holiday Harmony Series - Assume Love In The OtherNov 22, 2023
Pt. 2 - Love connects and energizes. Use this strategy to feel more joy and less exhaustion while socializing this season.
Are you feeling the stress of the holidays start to ramp up in your life? Are you dreading encounters you’re likely to have during this season of socializing?
There are many effective communication skills we deploy while navigating social life. Today, I want to share one of the most simple and the most profound.
This practice is a soothing balm for the emotional cuts and wounds we encounter -both in ourselves and others - while interacting with each other. It goes beyond language and beyond personality. It’s the practice of assuming love in the other.
The thinking mind loves to sort, label and categorize. The most rudimentary sorting is into two piles – good or bad. Wanted or unwanted. It’s easy to put the more challenging people in our lives into the latter category. It’s actually something our brains do to keep us safe.
We’re making assumptions all the time.
The brain loves predictability and routine. So, if something’s happened before, it’s more energy-efficient to follow that same route – to assume it’s going to happen again. This is how we lock ourselves and others into habits. If we’re going to assume something, how about assuming love in another? Assume that at their core, this person wants the same things you do. Assume that there’s a part of them that’s scared and afraid and is throwing out all kinds of weird behavior and personality traits to protect the most tender part of themselves. Just like we do.
Assume that there’s significantly more that connects us than divides us.
This is a liberating stance. When you’re assuming love in your co-worker who’s being passive-aggressive you’re rising above. Doing so allows them to rise above too.
It’s subversive. While everyone else is shaking their fists and pointing their fingers, you can hold this beautiful, healing unlimited energy of love while calling it out in others. Since love is infinite, it won’t drain you to do so. It will instead energize you as well as others. It’s a great way to feel nourished after a social gathering.
To assume love in another is to assume their wholeness, their desire to be loved and to love. It’s to see beyond their personality, behavior and their past rap sheet.
This is going to be easier to do with some than others.
With this practice, we’re using our mind to feed us a different reality by choosing where to focus and what emotions to stoke.
3 Steps To Assuming Love in The Other
The first step is to relax. Close your eyes. Breathe slow and deep. Feel the weight of your body on your chair or the floor, the weight of your hands resting on your lap. Do this for a few moments any time throughout the day and right before an interaction with someone whenever you can.
The second step is to settle into your heart space. Feel, imagine, experience, know this energetic field of love. Use your natural intuition and sensitivity. Get to know it by tapping in often.
Then, when you feel comfortable in your own heart energy, intentionally shift to experiencing the other person’s heart energy. Beyond their personality and behavior is the same pure energy of love. Whatever it feels like to you is right. You’re feeling your love and you’re feeling their love. It’s our true nature, and you’ve decided to to affirm it.
This is what the Sanskrit word, “Namasté” means. It’s often translated as, “The light in me honors the light in you.” Another way to say this is, “I’m experiencing love in my heart energy and I’m assuming that same incredibly healing and beautiful love energy is in you too.”
It’s pretty powerful.
You can do this as your aunt asks you to pass the gravy at your big family gathering or as you listen to someone at your holiday work party recount a recent fender bender or complain about a co-worker. You can do it with the checkout clerk at the store and the person who just cut you off in traffic. Notice how they change when you assume that no matter what they’re doing, they intend to love and be loved.
At the core, we all want the same thing. It’s easy to forget or not see this in the flurry of rude behavior, awkward social interactions and hectic lifestyles.
Assuming love in the other in no way condones bad behavior and it doesn’t mean you’re accepting another’s position. Love is beyond all that.
You are simply resting in the ultimate truth – that everything is pure love – and allowing others the opportunity to do the same.
You don’t need to say anything or do anything. You don’t even need to be in the same room, or the same country to do this.
Try this first with people you know and like. Then, with people who are neutral. After you’ve benefited from this wonderful experience of living from your heart, try it with someone who challenges you. You can do this from the comfort and safety of your own home. Try it before you go out and focus on those who you will be meeting.
By assuming love in the other, you are acknowledging the interconnectedness of all things. You’re giving a nod to the personality and ego that separates us and you’re looking beyond to what connects us all.
During this season of Light intend for your light to shine, adding to the upliftment of all by assuming love in the other.
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